Friday, October 19, 2012

National Yawn Day

History

National Yawn Day was an initiative begun by a small group of like minded individuals, who believed in the far reaching effects and benefits of yawning. This group quickly grew in number and as a result the Society for the Benumbed Minds of Sullen Employees(SBMSE) was started. It was found that prolonged exposure to excessively bright lights, recycled air and mundane activities results in what is scientically known as the Zombie Effect. This is a medical condition where normally happy individuals turn into depressed homocidal lunatics. The society discovered that yawning was both a simple and efficient means of countering the Zombie Effect.  Studies conducted also revealed that increased yawning resulted in decreased death rates within the workplace. The amount of fatalities as a result of Death by Dorrito - A Russian Roullette style vending machine game, where desperate employees goad each other on by eating inordinate amounts of salty vending machine snacks often resulting in one or more employee dying from exploding, is snaggerringly less in corporations where yawning is encouraged. Since 1985 the SBMSE's mission has been to shed light on these workplace atrocities.

Medical Benefits

Apart from the obvious advantages of supplying oxygen to the body and helping to exercise facial muscles,  yawning has other significant benefits. Employees finding themselves in excessively boring situations, which as we know is the leading cause of death(often by suicide) of braincells, are encouraged to yawn. This is promoted in order to avoid passing out, as a result of boredom. It is often found that those creating the boredom will be so put off by yawning that they will cease talking and walk/storm off. In these situations we say the bigger the yawn the better.

Yawga

A form of yoga promoted in the corporate sector. When in a large group employees are encouraged to yawn in unison. Yawga is most often conducted during staff meetings.

Yawning - The Stigma

Even though the benefits of Yawning has been extensively researched and proven, stigma was still attached to those who chose to openly practice it. This was mainly experienced in the workplace and offenders are often senior management and obliviously boring people. In the late 90s the rise of anti-yawn websites and the degrading portrayal of yawners in the media had escalated to such a point where the SBMSE poured funds into a print campaign. This campaign depicted individuals, from varying backgrounds, caught in the act of yawning with the caption - Yawning : We All Do It printed below. The campaign went hand in hand with information sessions given at schools and community centres. Overall it was considered a success with yawning becoming more openly accepted.

Yawning as art

Since yawning has become much more widely accepted many have taken it on as a form of artistic expression.

Popular modes of expression -

Interpretive Yawn Dance
Painting
Poetry
It is also the subject of the hit Broadway Musical - All About the Yawns.

Outreach

Perhaps the greatest achievement of the campaign has been its Outreach Programmes. Yawning Upliftment Programmes are brought to disadvantaged communities where school children are taught the lasting benefits of yawning. This is especially useful to youngsters stuck in interactions with white liberals, who have unresolved guilt issues. Whereas, in the past, these children would have to sit through onesided discussions expounding the joys of our rainbow nation, a simple yawn is often all it takes to diffuse the situation. Yawning allows a freedom, unknown to these youngsters, from exposure to unwarranted and oppressive social interactions.

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