So, I've decided that I'm going to shave all my hair off.
Just reading over that sentence makes me feel a little afraid. No, I lie, a lot afraid. I feel slightly silly, because, afterall, it's just hair, right? It will grow back. I've had bad haircuts before and I'm here to tell the tale.But still, there's this nagging feeling, that if put into words would reveal the unhealthy back and forth occurring in my head.
"What if I look utterly ridiculous?"
"Well, then just wear a hat."
"But it's Summer, too hot for hats!"
"Nonsense!"
"But, I don't like hats. I look utterly ridiculous in them!"
"SILENCE"
At this point I take on a devil may care attitude, which is rather a waste of time as this fools no one, least of all me. But, it does make me wonder, why something, so seemingly insignificant, could take up so much room in my head space. What's the point? People do it all the time. This reasoning, however, is not enough to quell my fears. I look at the pictures on my wall, most of them of women. Most of those women with long hair. Some loose. Some tied up. Some neat and proper. Some dishevelled. And all, in some way or other, representing femininity. It's not that I'm afraid of loosing my femininity. I think the problem is, that if I do cut my hair, I will have to figure out new ways of expressing mine, without the aid of the women on my wall.
Ultimately, I know, that I'm making rather a big deal out of nothing. I will cut my hair. I'll get used to it, so will other people. And, I'll think back to this blog and wonder what all the fuss was about!
