How to be an awful dinner guest

1) Refer to your host by the wrong name throughout the night. Choose something that in no way resembles their actual name.

"Hi Suze!"
"It's Linda."


2) Bring a gift of something you know they hate or are allergic too.

"I'm so sorry I didn't know you were both allergic to and hate chocolate covered puppy."


3) Alternatively re-gift and "forget" to remove the name tag.


4) At dinner ask, "Did you make this yourself?"


5) When they say yes quietly reply, "Oh." in a disbelieving manner.


6) Regale your host with the time you made something similar yourself and how it was such a hit with your guests and how you didn't even put that much effort in and now you are ALWAYS expected to make this particular dish at the insistence of your friends.


7) Suggest possible adjustments to improve the dish to the point where it is a completely different dish altogether.


8) At the end of the night insist that "You must do this again soon!" but never actually be available to do so.

"I'm so sorry I can't do Tuesday, I have to take my dog for a bikini wax!"